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- Morning, roomie. - Hey!|-室友早！ -嘿！

You remembered to put clothes on this morning.|今天早上你记得穿上衣服了

Fifth day's a charm.|第五天终于记得了

It's so great to be back here. You're making it so easy on me and Emma.|能够搬回来真好 你帮了我跟艾犸一个大忙

It's great having you back. Stay as long as you want.|你能够搬回来也真好 你要待多久就待多久

And when does she stop crying all night?|她是什么时候才不会哭一整晚呢？

Hey! You're not naked.|嘿！你没有光着屁股

Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?|瑞秋，你今晚什么时候会回来？

Probably around 6. But she's in the bedroom, all ready to go.|大概六点吧，她在房间里 已经准备好了

But she fell back to sleep, so..|她又睡着了，所以…

She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.|可能是因昨晚美妙的哭声而累坏了

- Bye. - Bye.|-再见 -再见

Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.|嘿，我希望艾犸没有带来太多麻烦

No, hey, it's been great.|没，嘿，一切都很好

I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here..|我只想让你知道，虽然瑞秋住在这边

all my feelings from before are totally over.|但是我之前对她的感觉早就已经没了

And even if they weren't..|即使本来还有…

when you walk in on a woman using a breast pump..|当你看到一个女人用吸奶器…

- Yeah, that'll do it. - Wow!|-是啊，没错 -哇！

So how are you?|那你怎样呢？

- I'm okay. - Really?|-不错啊 -真的吗？

Sure. I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out?|当然，我有没有希望过 和瑞秋快乐地住在一起？

Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.|当然有，你知道的，我是有点失望 但是这又不像是离婚

- Well, actually it.. - It's not a divorce. It is not a divorce!|-嗯，事实上这… -这不是离婚，这不是离婚！

Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to get on with our lives.|反正我认为我跟瑞秋 应该要过自己的生活

Maybe start seeing other people.|或许开始跟其他人交往

Wow. Really?|哇，真的吗？

Sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that'd be good for me..?|当然，为何不呢？ 事实上，你有认识适合我的人吗？

- Sure. I know lots of girls. - Any names come to mind?|-当然，我认识很多女生 -脑海中有浮现任何名字吗？

Names?|名字？

[英学网] - 电影天堂-双语电影网 在线双语字幕-英语学习视频 - www.engxue.com

- I was about to eat. Want something? - What you got?|-我才正要吃点东西，你要吗？ -你有什么呢？

Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots..|好的，让我看看，我们有豆子泥 胡萝卜泥…

strained plums. We haven't tried that yet!|梅子泥 我们还没有试过这个！

Goody!|好棒！

Thanks.|谢谢

So how is it living with Rachel again?|跟瑞秋再住一起如何呢？

I mean, apart from the great food?|我是说，除了有很多好吃的之外？

I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just..|很好，很好，只是…

It's just weird what's happening with her and Ross.|她跟罗斯之间真的是很诡异

Yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.|昨天他要我介绍女生给他

Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.|瑞秋也问我有没有男生可以介绍给她

- Why are they doing this? - I don't know.|-他们为什么要这样呢？ -不知道

They're so perfect for each other. It's crazy.|他们彼此再适合不过了，真是神经

You know what's crazy? These jars.|你知道什么才神经？这些罐子是怎样？

What is there, like, two bites in here?|才两口就没了？

I just wish they'd realize they should be together.|我只希望他们可以发现 彼此是适合在一起的

When they moved in together, I figured that's where things were headed.|当他们一起住时… -我以为事情就解决了

They should be a family. They should marry and have more children.|-他们应该是一家人 -结婚生更多的小孩

Yes. And they should name one of their kids Joey.|-是啊，而且该把其中一个取名叫乔伊

I may not have kids. Someone's gotta carry on the family name.|我或许不会有小孩  总是要有人帮我传承香火吧

You know what? Maybe once they start dating and see what's out there..|你知道吗？或许他们一旦开始 跟别人约会，知道别人是怎样的…

they'll realize how good they are for each other.|他们就会发现彼此是多么适合

Yeah, because it is slim pickings.|是啊，因为他俩真是龙配龙、凤配凤啊

I had this date last night. Yuck!|我昨晚约会的女生遭透了，讨厌！

But we should probably keep it down, she's still in the bedroom.|但是应该要说小声一点 她还在房间里面

So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna set them up with people?|那我们该怎么做呢？ 我们要帮他们介绍人吗？

I know, that just pushes them further and further apart.|我知道，这样只会使他们渐行渐远

I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates..|我知道要怎么做了 我们可以帮罗斯跟瑞秋介绍可怕的人

so they'll realize how good they are together.|让他们发觉彼此是很好的

- That's a great plan. - Yeah.|-真是好计划 -是啊

You know what the best part of it is? I get to do my plan laugh.|你知道最棒的是什么吗？ 我可以来个计划成功之笑

Okay, shh! Not so loud. We don't want to wake up..|好了，嘘！不要那么大声 不要吵醒…

Hi. You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?|嗨，你们今晚没有计划，对吗？

See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married?|为什么你为那样以为呢？ 就因为我们已经结婚了吗？

I mean, I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people.|我是说，我要让你知道 我们是非常时髦好玩的人

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.|现在不好意思，我要回去读报上讣闻了

I was just asking because I need someone to watch Emma tonight.|我会问是因为 今晚我需要有人帮我带艾犸

Sure we'll do it. What are you up to?|当然我们可以，你要做什么呢？

- Well, Phoebe set me up on a date. - Oh, my God.|-嗯，菲比帮我安排一个约会 -喔，我的天

- Why? What's the big deal? - I figured because you and Ross are..|-为什么？有什么不对吗？ -我以为你跟罗斯是…

What? Slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.|是怎样？一年半前上过床吗？ 是啊，那我就全搞定了

I think it's great you're going on a date. It sounds healthy.|我认为你能够去约会是件好事 听起来很健康

I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood.|我是说你有你的需要 面对你的女性特质吧

You want a job? Turn off Oprah and send out a resume.|你要找工作吗？关掉新闻挖挖哇 然后去寄履历表

- I'll bring her by around 7, okay? - That's perfect.|-我七点左右带她过来好吗？ -太棒了

You guys are gonna have so much fun. She's at such a cute age.|你们会很开心的 她现在正是可爱的时候

A couple things. Now that she eats solid food, she poops around the clock.|有几件事，现在她会吃固体食物了 所以会按时排便

And watch out for your hair because she likes to grab it.|还有小心你的头发，因为她喜欢抓

She's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams, but..|这时期的她还会在 你离开房间的时候大叫，但是…

Thanks, you guys. Have fun.|谢谢你们，祝你们玩的开心

Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.|突然间，我希望自己的名字在上面

Joey, hey. I'm so excited.|乔伊，嘿，我好兴奋

- I set Rachel up with the worst guy. - All right. Who is he?|-我帮瑞秋约了一个最糟糕的男生 -好的，是谁呢？

It's a guy I used to massage. By "massage"..|是我曾经按摩过的一个男的 而“按摩”时…

I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.|我得按住他 让他不能转身露鸟

- Wait till you hear who I got for Ross. - Oh, yeah.|-等你听听我介绍谁给罗斯再说吧 -喔，好啊

Okay. She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher.|她真是个很无趣的女人 她是个老师

- A teacher? - She's into history and foreign movies.|-老师？ -她喜欢历史跟外国影片

And she loves puzzles.|而且她喜欢益智游戏

Come on, who loves puzzles?|拜托，谁会喜欢益智游戏呢？

Well, Ross does.|嗯，罗斯喜欢啊

You're ruining the plan!|你毁了计划了！

Joey, you fixed him up with his perfect woman.|乔伊，你把他的天生另一半介绍给他了

- Oh, my God, you're right! - Yeah.|-我的天，你说的没错！ -是啊

She even reads for pleasure!|她甚至还喜欢读书！

- How do you know a woman like that? - I'm not allowed to know smart women?|-你怎么会认识那种女人呢？ -我不能认识聪明的女人吗？

- Joey? - We met at the library. I went in to pee.|-乔伊？ -在图书馆，我进去上厕所时认识的

- So now what do we do? - Well, okay.|-那我们现在该怎么办呢？ -嗯，好吧

I'll call her and tell her the date's canceled and find him somebody else.|我打电话跟她说取消 然后再找别人

What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off..|要是我们找不到别人呢？ 我们只要跟她说约会取消了…

but we don't tell Ross. He'll go to the restaurant and get stood up.|但是不要跟罗斯说 他会去餐厅等，然后被放鸽子

I hear that's bad.|真是太坏心了

So this is great. Rachel's gonna have a terrible date..|太棒了，瑞秋会有个很糟糕的约会

Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realize how good they have it together.|罗斯被放鸽子，然后他们会发现 对方才是最好的

Yes, the plan.|是的，好计划

It's not Santa's plan.|这不是圣诞老公公的计划

No, it's..|不，这是…

- Yeah, you know, it's not that fun. - No, I think we killed it.|-你知道吗？不太好玩了 -是不好玩，我们弄僵了

Emma? Emma, look at me!|艾犸？艾犸？瞧瞧我！

Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.|嗯，我想我要下楼一下子

No, no, no! It's okay! It's okay! I didn't go!|不！没关系！没关系！我没有去！

Don't cry, it's just a bit!|别哭，我是开玩笑的

I'm your Uncle Chandler. Funny is all I have!|我是你的钱德姑丈，我只会搞笑啊！

Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the 6th.|好了，让你知道一下 我从明天开始到六号都在排卵

So don't touch yourself for the next 48 hours.|所以接下来的四十八小时 你可别自慰

I don't do that.|我不自慰的

I'll try to stop.|我会试着克制自己

- Did you say until the 6th? - Yeah.|-你是说到六号吗？ -是啊

Today is the 6th.|今天就是六号

No, it's not.|不，不是

Yes, it's also 2003.|是的，而且是2003年

Oh, my God. Today's the 6th?|我的天，今天是六号？

I may be done ovulating!|我可能已经排完了！

I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.|我在餐厅做的肉类 或许都很有问题

- Go take the test, see if we're okay. - Okay.|-去做测试，看是不是还好 -好的

Tough crib.|定力不错啊

Hey, where are all my ovulation sticks? There's only one here.|嘿，我其他的排卵测试剂呢？ 只剩下一个了

I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.|我可能拿了几个测试看 我是不是有排卵

I'm not working! There's not much to do around here!|我没有工作，没事做很痛苦的

（德莫尼可餐厅）

[英学网] - 电影天堂-双语电影网 在线双语字幕-英语学习视频 - www.engxue.com

Sorry. You want a roll with that?|抱歉，还需要面包吗？

Excuse me.|不好意思

Is there a woman waiting at the bar?|有没有一个女人在吧台那边等人呢？

Someone average height, dark hair? Or perhaps doing a puzzle?|不高不矮，黑发？ 可能在玩猜谜游戏？

There's a drunk Chinese guy.|是有个喝醉的中国人

Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.|嗯，如果我一小时之后还在这里 帮我请他喝一杯

Can I get you another glass of wine?|您要不要再点一杯酒呢？

I don't know if I should. I don't want to be drunk when I..|我不知道应不应该 不想喝到醉醺醺的，然后…

go home alone tonight.|今晚独自回家

- Got stood up, huh? - It's no big deal. It's just a blind date.|-被放鸽子了，是吗？ -没有什么，只不过是跟陌生人约会

Are you worried your date came, saw you and left?|你担心那个女的一来 看到你就走了吗？

No!|不！

We're okay. I'm still ovulating.|还好，我还在排卵

Oh, good, because as of 4:00 this afternoon, I am not.|很好，因为今天下午四点的时候 我没有在排卵

So let's do this.|那我们来炒饭吧

- I don't think I can. - Oh, come on.|-我想我没办法 -喔，别这样

I know you're not 18 anymore, but give it a minute.|我知道你不是十八岁了 但是给它一点时间啊

- Because of Emma. - Oh, my God, Emma.|-因为艾犸的原因 -天啊，艾犸

Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here.|亲爱的，我忘记你在这里了

You're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.|你是对的，我们不能这样做 我们不能单独留她在这里

Sorry.|对不起

Unless..|除非…

maybe we do it here.|或许我们可以在这里做

I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?|我是说，她这个年纪懂什么呢？

She's aware when we leave a room. She may notice if we start..|我们离开房间她都知道 或许她也会注意到我们…

canoodling in it.|在亲热

- Canoodling? - Well, I can't say hump or screw..|-亲热？ -嗯，我总不能在一个娃娃面前说…

in front of the B-A-B-Y.|^做**或是上床吧

I don't know, I guess having sex in front of a baby..|我不知道，我想在婴儿面前^做**…

- isn't so.. - Horrifying? Scarring?|-不是很… -可怕？吓人？

Something people go to jail for?|没有人因此而坐牢？

- I guess you're right. - You guess?|-我想你说的对 -你想？

At that bed-and-breakfast, we didn't have sex..|住在民宿的时候，我们没^做**…

because you thought a deer was staring through the window.|因为你认为有只鹿站在窗外看

Well, what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?|什么样变态的人 想要在一只鹿面前^做**呢？

Wow, everything looks so good.|哇，每样东西看起来都很好吃

I think I'm gonna have the chicken.|我想我要点鸡肉

I just have to say this.|我必须要这么说

- You're really beautiful. - Wow, that's very sweet. Thank you.|-你真的很漂亮 -哇，这真是贴心，谢谢你

I'm kind of funny-looking.|我长得有点好笑

- What? - Look, I mean, come on..|-什么？ -听着，我是说少来了

you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it.|你不是我可以高攀的起的 这里每个人都看得出来

I bet that guy over there is probably saying:|我敢说那边那个男的 可能在想…

"Why's she out with him? He must be rich."|“为什么她会跟他出来呢？ 他一定是很有钱”

Well, I'm not.|可是，我并不有钱

Okay.|好吧

Well, I guess, then the joke's on him.|嗯，那我想，算是他的问题好了

What do you think you want to order? I'm real excited about that chicken.|你想要点什么呢？ 我真的很期待他们的鸡肉

I'm not funny, either.|我也不风趣

So if you were thinking, "Well, he's not that good-looking..|所以如果你是在想 嗯，他倒是不太好看…

but maybe we'll have some laughs," that ain't gonna happen.|但是也许他很幽默 那你就错了

Well, come on, Steve, let's not rule out nervous laughter.|别这样，史提夫 我们不要让彼此尴尬

So, now, I think that we should order..|所以现在，我想我们应该点餐了

and then eat, and then leave.|然后用餐，然后再离开

I have a lot of medical problems.|我一身是病

Hey, now, wait a minute, Phoebe told me..|嘿，等等，菲比告诉我…

that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.|你是自己开餐厅的，真是了不起

I lost it to drugs.|我因为吸毒把餐厅顶让了

I silk-screen T-shirts now.|我现在做绢印T恤

Really? What's that like?|真的？做得怎样呢？

It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money.|做你痛恨的工作、又赚不到钱 真是非常充实啊！

That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny..|没错，我没有钱，又不风趣

I live in a studio apartment with two other guys.|住在一间没有隔间的公寓 跟两个男的一起生活

And I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.|而且我很确定，我有不孕症

Now, come on. Come on, Steve.|别这样，别这样，史提夫

There must be something that you like about yourself.|你一定有什么自己喜欢的地方

I do like my hair.|我是挺喜欢我的头发的

Really?|真的吗？

（中央咖啡厅）

- Hello? - Phoebe, it's me!|-哈啰？ -菲比，是我

I'm going to hunt you down and kill you.|我一定要追杀你、把你给剁了

Hey, Rach!|嘿，瑞秋

This is the worst date ever! How could you set me up with this creep?|这真是史上最烂的约会！ 你怎么可以介绍这个怪人给我呢？

You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.|你是在批评我最要好的朋友耶

I don't care. This guy is a nightmare.|我不在乎，这个人是个恶梦

All right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.|好了，他只不过在 吸毒的时候才有点失常

- He's not stoned. - Did he go out for a cigarette?|-他没吸毒 -他有出去抽烟吗？

- Yeah. Four times. - My dear, sweet Rach.|-有啊，四次 -我亲爱的甜姐儿瑞秋

Well, our plan is working. Rachel's having a miserable time..|我们的计划奏效了 瑞秋如坐针毡

and Ross is stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.|而罗斯正一个人在某家餐厅呆坐 被放鸽子了

Pretty soon they'll be back together.|他们很快就会复合了

By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico.|等到大家发现我们做的好事时 我们早就在阳光普照的墨西哥了

Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.|喔，等等，那是另一个计划的结局

She's asleep. Chandler?|她睡着了，钱德？

- What are you doing? - Emma was doing it.|-你在做什么呢？ -艾犸也都这样做啊

She's asleep.|她睡着了

- She's asleep. That means we can.. - Yes. But we have to be fast.|-她睡了，表示我们可以… -是的，但是我们必须要动作快

Oh, okay, I'll try.|喔，好的，我尽量

- And you can't make any noise. - Okay, I'll try.|-而你不能发出任何声音 -好啦，我尽量

Hello?|哈啰？

Emma?|艾犸？

Hey! Hi!|嘿！嗨！

How are you? How are you?|你好吗？你好吗？

Where are your babysitters, huh?|你的保姆们呢？

Why is the bedroom door closed?|为什么房间的门是关着的呢？

You can't have S-E-X when you're taking care of a B-A-B-I-E.|在照顾小孩的时候是不能炒饭的

I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.|我有个坏消息，那个中国人走了

If it was meant to be, it's meant to be.|如果不是命中注定，就不是命中注定

Look, you got stood up. Who cares?|听着，就算是被放鸽子又如何呢？

We're gonna show you a good time. Sit and relax.|我们会好好招待你，你好好坐着享受

In fact, let me bring you a crab-cake appetizer on the house.|事实上，让我免费招待您 蟹肉饼当开胃菜

Wow, free crab cakes? Well, that's nice.|哇，免费的蟹肉饼吗？真是周到

Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.|虽然我本来希望今晚可以嘿咻一下的

Just the crab cakes.|只要蟹肉饼就行了

What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? You can't do that.|你在做什么？要把他留下来吗？ 你不可以那样

- Just get out of here, okay? - I'm sorry, what's going on?|-不要多管闲事好吗？ -很抱歉，这是怎么回事？

Okay, the waiters have a little pool going.|服务生们都在打赌

We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.|赌你会等多久才会放弃 回家去

What?!|什么！

You're making money off my misery?|你们拿我的悲惨境遇来赢钱？

Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.|嗯，如果你待到九点半，我就赢了

This is unbelievable. I have never been so insulted in my life.|太离谱了，我从未被如此羞辱过

Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.|现在如果你帮我把蟹肉饼打包 我就马上离开

Well, that was weird. You were loud and I was fast.|真是奇怪，你倒是很大声 我倒是挺快的

I think we may have really done it this time.|我想我们这一次可能会成功

I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.|我希望我不用等到作验孕测试

You may want to get some more of those too.|你可能需要再多买一些

Where's Emma?|艾犸呢？

Oh, my God, where's Emma? Where's Emma?|我的天，艾犸呢？艾犸呢？

Don't ask me. I was in there canoodling you.|别问我，我跟你在里面亲热

Okay. Okay. I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma.|好吧，我想应该是瑞秋提早回来 把艾犸带回去了

You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.|你去对面看看，我来打电话给她

You better hope we're pregnant..|你最好祈祷我有怀孕

because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel!|因为无论如何 我们得要有个婴儿可以还给瑞秋！

I can't believe I'm crying in front of you.|我不敢相信我在你面前哭泣

You must think I'm so pathetic.|你一定觉得我很可悲

No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.|不、不、不，我欣赏会哭的男人

- Really? - Don't touch my coat.|-真的？ -别碰我的外套

Sorry, that's my phone.|对不起，我有电话

- Hello? - Hey, Rach, how's it going?|-哈啰？ -嘿，瑞秋，进行的怎样呢？

Oh, my God, this is the worst date ever.|我的天，这是我有过最烂的约会了

Oh, come on.|喔，少来了

Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well?|听着，我很抱歉，但是你真的认为 一切进行的很顺利吗？

- What's up? - Hey, did you stop by here?|-怎么了？ -嘿，你有来过吗？

- No. - Oh, my God! Then..|-没有 -喔，我的天，那…

Thank God! Emma, there you are!|感谢上帝！艾犸原来你在这里！

What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she?|什么？“原来你在这里？” 是什么意思，她在哪里？

We were playing peekaboo. She loves it when I'm dramatic.|我们在玩躲猫猫 她爱死我的激情演出了

- Why the hell did you take her? - Because you two were having sex!|-你为什么要带走她呢？ -因为你们两个在^做**！

- No, we weren't. - Don't you lie to me.|-不，我们没有 -别对我说谎

I can tell by Chandler's hair. You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?|我从钱德的头发就可以看出来 你真懒，你就不能有一次在上面吗？

All right. All right, we were.|好啦，好啦，我们是在^做**

We're trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.|我们是要努力怀孕，摩妮卡正在排卵

Which is more than I can say for myself as of 2:00 today.|我今天下午测自己的时候都没有呢

Guys!|你们…你们…

Seriously, those sticks are expensive!|说真的，它们很贵的！

It's unacceptable that you'd have sex with Emma in the next room.|有艾犸在这里 你们就不能在里面^做**

- I'll have to tell Rachel about this. - Please don't. She will kill us.|-我必须要告诉瑞秋这件事 -拜托不要，她会杀了我们的

Hey, I gotta. Unless..|嘿，我一定要，除非…

Unless what?|除非怎样？

Unless you name your first-born child Joey.|除非你们把第一个小孩取名叫乔伊

- What? Why? - Hey, I may never have kids..|-什么？为什么？ -嘿，我可能永远都不会有小孩

and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.|总是要有人帮我延续香火 用我家的姓吧

Your family name is Tribbiani.|你姓崔比亚尼

You almost had me.|你差点就骗过我了

Look..|听着…

I think I know the answer to this question, but..|我想我知道这个问题的答案，但是…

would you like to make love to me?|你想要跟我^做**吗？

Really, really not.|真的，真的不想

It's just as well.|只不过是问问

It doesn't work anyway.|反正也没有希望

All right, well, that's good to know. Good night, Steve.|好的，那就这样，晚安，史提夫

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- Hey, what's wrong? - I just had a rough night.|-嘿，怎么了？ -我刚度过糟糕的一晚

Crab cake?|要蟹肉饼吗？

Well, what happened?|发生什么事了？

This is kind of weird to talk to you about this, but..|跟你聊这件事真的是有点奇怪 但是…

Monica told me you had a blind date.|摩妮卡跟我说你去约会了

- Yeah. - I did too.|-是啊 -我也是

But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?|但是如果对方没有出现 那到底算不算是约会呢？

Oh, no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?|喔，你觉得是她看到你 然后就走了吗？

Why does everyone keep saying that?|为什么大家要一直这样说呢？

If it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.|我可以让你好过点 我真希望我的对象没有出现

- That bad? - Well, he makes T-shirts for a living..|-那么糟吗？ -他是做T恤的

and he thought it would be appropriate to give me..|而且他认为送这样的礼物给我是…

this.|很适当的

（联邦调查局 女性身体检查官）

"Female Body Inspector"?|“女性身体检查官”？

What size is that?|这是什么尺寸的？

Now wait a minute. So they're gonna name their first child Joey?|等等，所以他们要把 第一个孩子取名乔伊？

How do I get them to name the next one after me?|那我要怎样才能让他们 把第二个孩子以我的名字取名呢？

It's easy. You just walk in on them having sex.|很简单，你只要在 他们^做**时走进去就行了

Oh, so they owe me, like, three Phoebes.|喔，所以他们已经欠我三个菲比了

Oh, my God! Look, it's Ross and Rachel!|我的天！瞧，那是罗斯跟瑞秋

The plan is working!|计划奏效了

Don't do the plan laugh.|别再做那个计划成功之笑了

The first dates we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.|我们几个月以来的第一次约会 而结果却这么惨

You know, it is weird..|你知道，真是奇怪…

that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful..|菲比帮我安排一个很烂的约会

on the same night Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.|而在同一晚，乔伊帮你安排了一个 根本没有人出现的约会

Wait a minute.|等一下

You don't think it was intentional?|你不会认为这是故意的吧

I mean, that's just stupid.|我是说，这实在太愚蠢了

We're geniuses.|我们真是天才

- Look at them! They're really bonding. - They're falling in love all over again.|-瞧瞧他们！合得不得了 -再度坠入爱河了

Oh, they see us. Oh, they look mad.|喔，他们看到我们了，看起来很生气

They figured it out. They're coming. Run!|他们知道了，他们过来了，快跑！

- Where? - Mexico!|-跑去哪？ -墨西哥！

Can you believe they're still not here?|谁敢相信她们居然还没有出现？

I know. A double blind date and we both get stood up.|是啊，双对约会 我们竟然一起被放鸽子

What are the chances?|怎么可能呢？

I know, I'm so bummed.|我知道，我好难过

Could we have our free crab cakes now?|现在可以上免费的蟹肉饼了吗？

- What? - We've been stood up.|-什么？ -我们被放鸽子了

And we want our free crab cakes.|我们想要上免费的蟹肉饼了

- You were stood up here last night. - I know. It hurts.|-你昨晚才在这里被放鸽子 -我知道，真是伤心

Being stood up two nights in a row has left a crab cake sized hole in my heart.|一连两晚被放鸽子，已在我心中留下 像蟹肉饼一样大的伤口了

Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight.|你们俩，不用装了 今晚没有人在拿你们打赌

Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.|不过我们倒是有在赌 看那个男的多久才会哭

I have such fat hands!|我的手好肥

I hate my dick!|我恨我的小鸡鸡