播放提示

影片介绍

Hey! You're not gonna believe this.|快看，你们一定不信

Yes, Ross,  we know they have magazines with pictures of naked women in them.|是的，我们知道那里面 有裸女的照片

Don't tell him about the videos!|告诉他还有出录影带

I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy.|我编了一则笑话寄到花花公子

They printed it.|结果登出来了

I didn't know they print jokes.|我不知道花花公子也登笑话

They print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism.|他们有笑话、专访扎实新闻报导

It's not just about the pictures.|并非只有图片

Didn't work on Mom, it's not gonna work on us.|妈不吃这套，我们也不吃

Check it out. It's the first one.|你们看，还是第一则

Right there.|在这里

That is funny.|真好笑

It was also funny when I made it up.|我编出来时也很好笑

- What? - I made that joke up.|什么? 这则笑话是我编的

No, you didn't. I did.|不是你，是我

Yes, I did. I told Dan and he said it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard.|是我，我说给公司的丹听 他说这是他听过最好笑的笑话

Hey, tell Dan thanks.|帮我谢谢丹

What?|怎样?

I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny.|抱歉，我在看下面那则笑话那则很好笑

Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?|莫妮卡，你记得我跟你说过那则笑话吧

- No. - Seriously?|不记得 真的不记得?

You tell a lot of jokes.|你的笑话一大堆

Look, it's my joke.|钱德，那是我的笑话

But if it makes you feel better, they don't print the name.|不过他们没有印投稿人

So it doesn't really matter who gets credit.|所以是谁的并不重要，对吧?

Yeah, I guess.|大概吧

- Hey, guys. - Playboy printed my joke!|你们好 乔伊，花花公子登了我的笑话

No, it's mine! Call them! They'll tell you!|不，那是我的笑话你打去问就知道

- My joke! - My joke!|那是我的笑话 是我的

Whoa, whoa, whoa!|哦，哦，哦

Jokes? What...?|笑话?

You know there's naked chicks in there, right?|你们知道这上面有裸女吧?

The One With The Joke|老友记 Friends S06E12

[英学网] - 电影天堂-双语电影网 在线双语字幕-英语学习视频 - www.engxue.com

Dude! You have got to turn on Behind The Music.|快，赶快转到“音乐内幕”

The band Heart is having a tough time and they may break up.|红心合唱团状况百出可能会解散

Let's watch that at your place.|我们去你家看

Monica's watching a show.  I don't want to miss when they were skinny.|不行，莫妮卡在看烹住节日快点，我想看她们瘦的时候

Hey, Chandler? You know what we should do?|钱德，你知道吗?

You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.|我们应该去买新墨镜

What? No, I want to watch this.|什么? 不要，我想看电视

- Did your cable go out? - No. No, that's VH1.|你的第四台断线了吗? 不是，那是VH—1

I tell you, the music these kids listen to today...|现在的小朋友听的音乐

...it's a lot of noise to me.|都好吵

Why is your cable out?|乔伊，第四台为什么没了?

Oh, because I haven't really paid the bill.|因为我没缴钱

If you need money, would you please let me loan you some?|你若缺钱，拜托让我借你好吗

No, Chandler. Forget about it, okay?|不要，你别再说了

I know things have been tight since Janine moved out.  God, was she hot.|我知道吉宁走后，我有点吃紧天哪，她可真辣

I know, yeah.|就是啊

Look, I can handle it, all right? I can listen to the radio.|但是我可以应付，好吗我可以听广播

And Ross gave me this great book.|罗斯也给了我一本很棒的书

Want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch at his place?|要不要问那个笑话小偷 我们能不能去他家看?

Sure.|好啊

- Paid your phone bill? - No.|电话费有缴吗？ 没怎么在缴

It's only you.|原来是你

- What are you doing? - Looking at a Playboy.|你们在看什么? 我们在看花花公子

I want to look too!|我也想看

Yikes!|好哦

Do you think these pictures are trying to tell a story?|这些照片是有故事性吗?

Sure. Like in the case of this young woman...|当然有，像这位年轻小姐

...she has lost her clothes.|她的衣服不见了，所以…

So she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, "Where are they?"|她光溜溜的骑着马大喊“我的衣服呢?”

She's not gonna find them, lying in the grass like that.|光躺在草地上是找不到的

Remember the days when you'd go out to the barn...|记不记得以前去谷仓

...lift up your shirt and bend over?|掀起衣服翘起屁股的日子?

You see, now, I would date this girl.|不过我会约这个女生

She's cute, she's outdoorsy.|她很可爱，很阳光

And she knows how to build a fire. That'll come in handy.|而且她会生火，可以派上用场

I got a question.|我有一个问题

If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?|如果要在我们当中挑女朋友你们会挑谁?

- I don't know. - Me neither.|不知道。我也不知道

Rachel.|瑞秋

What?|什么?

I don't know.|不知道

Me neither.|我也不知道

You know, you forget how many great songs Heart had.|我都忘了红心合唱团有那么多经典

"Barracuda" was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.|“Barracuda”是我练键盘学的第一首歌

So you heard it, you repeated it...|你听过，弹过

...so that must mean you wrote it.|所以那首歌是你写的咯?

You guys with this joke. Well, I gotta say...|你们怎么还争啊? 老实说

...I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it.|我有大笑，但是我看不太懂

What?|什么?

You didn't get it?|你看不懂?

The doctor is a monkey.|那个医生是只猴子

And monkeys can't write out prescriptions.|猴子没办法开处方

You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.|我的笑话不准你笑

Your joke?|你的笑话?

Well, I think the Hef would disagree.|海夫纳可不同意(花花公子创办人)

Which is why he sent me a check...|所以他寄了这张

...for $ 100.|百元支票给我

So you stole my joke and you stole my money?|你偷我的笑话，还偷我的钱

I was gonna stick it in the ATM.|我本来要轧进柜员机里

But now I think I'll show the sexy teller...|现在我决定让那位性感女柜员

...that I am a published writer.|知道我是个作家

She'll know that you stole the joke.|她会知道你是偷来的

You gonna follow me there?|你想怎样，跟着我去吗?

- Yeah. - I'm not gonna go now.|没错。反正我现在又不去

Okay.|好

Here you go.|帐单

Gunther?|甘瑟

I can't pay now, because I'm not working.|我现在不能付，我没工作

I've had to cut down on some luxuries like...|得节省不必要的开销

...paying for stuff, so...|像付帐之类的

Well, if you want, you can work here.|你可以来这里工作

I don't know.|我不晓得…

It's just...|只是

See, I was a regular on a soap opera, you know?|我演过连续剧

And to go from that to this, it's just...|从明星到服务生，我实在…

And plus, I'd have to wait on all my friends.|而且还得招呼我的朋友

Okay. But the money's good.|好，但薪水很高

Plus, you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.|还可以看瑞秋看个够

What?|什么?

Flexible hours.|工作时间很弹性

Maybe I could be a waiter.|也许可以噢

Could I use the phone?|可以用电话吗?

She picked Rachel.|她选瑞秋

She tried to back out of it, but it was obvious.  She picked Rachel.|她想改口但是很明显，她选瑞秋

He took my joke. He just took it.|他偷了我的笑话

This is wrong. You know what else is wrong?|这样是不对的还有什么是不对的

Phoebe picking Rachel.|菲比选了瑞秋

Know who else picked Rachel? Ross.|还有谁会选瑞秋?

Know what else Ross did? He stole my joke.|罗斯，罗斯还做了什么他偷了我的笑话

I'm gonna get a joke journal, you know?|我要买一本笑话日志

And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.|记录我每次讲笑话的日期时问

Good idea. Know what's a bad idea?|好主意。你知道什么主意不好?

- Picking Rachel. - That's right.|选择瑞秋 没错

Did you hear something?|什么声音?

Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain to steal my thoughts.|也许是罗斯爬进我的脑袋窃取我的思绪

It's coming from the living room.|是客厅传来的

I finished my book.|我的书看完了

- Hey, you guys. - Hey.|你们好  嘿

Don't you guys look cute.|你们好可爱

You guys make a cute couple.|真是可爱的一对

What are you doing?|莫妮卡，你在干嘛?

Just trying to re-create some of the fun that we had at my place.|没什么我只是想制造出前两天的乐趣

Remember? When you picked Rachel over me?|就是你选瑞秋不选我那次多好玩啊

That was funny.|是蛮好玩的

- It was kind of funny.  - It wasn't funny at all!|一点也不好玩

Why would you do that?|你为什么选她?

Why didn't you pick me?|为什么不选我?

Fine.|好

The reason I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you...|我之所以比较倾向瑞秋

...is just, you know, you're...|是因为你…

...high maintenance. Let's go to lunch!|有点难搞

That is completely untrue.|我们去吃饭吧

You think I'm high maintenance? Prove it.|哪有这回事，你觉得我难搞?

You write out a list, and we'll go through it point by point.|证明给我看，你列一张清单我们逐条讨论

No, you're right, you're easygoing.|你说得对，你很好相处

You're just not as easygoing as Rachel. She's just more...|你只是没有瑞秋那么好相处

...flexible and mellow. That's all.|她比较有弹性，比较圆融

Well, people are different.|每个人都不一样

Rachel will do whatever you want.  You can just walk all over her.|瑞秋什么都好 怎么欺负她都行

What? Are you saying that I'm a pushover?  I'm not a pushover.|慢着，你是说我好欺负吗？ 我才没有

Oh, okay. You're not a pushover.|好，你好欺负

You think I'm a pushover. Well, watch this.|天哪，你觉得我好欺负

You're not invited to lunch!|你听着，我们不跟你吃饭了

What do you think? Pretty strong, I think.|怎么样? 够强硬了吧?

Come on, Monica, let's go to lunch.|莫妮卡，我们去吃饭

You start working on that list.|把清单列出来

- I cannot believe her.  - I know. Where do you want to eat?|她真是太扯了就是啊，你想吃什么?

- Oh, I love that Japanese place.  - I'm sick of Japanese. Not there.|我很喜欢那家日本料理 我吃腻日本菜了

Wherever you want to go is cool.|不要去那家那看你想去哪里

Oh, hey, Gunther...|甘瑟

...check this out.|你看

Yeah, that Chandler cracks me up.|那个钱德真的很好笑

You want anything to drink? I'm heading up there.|罗斯，你要喝什么吗？ 我要去柜台

- I'll take a coffee. Thanks. - Sure.|要，我要咖啡，谢了 不客气

- Coffee? - No.|咖啡? 不要

Coffee? I'm going up there.|要咖啡吗? 我要去柜台

No, thank you.|不用了

You need anything? I'm heading up there.|需要什么吗? 我要去柜台

I'd love ice water.|我要一杯冰水

You got it.|没问题

What are you doing?|乔伊，你在干什么?

Just being friendly.|表示友善啊

You're not supposed to go back there.|乔伊，你不能去柜台后面

It's okay. Right?|没关系啦，对吧，甘瑟?

Don't wink at me.|别跟我使眼色

And put on your apron.|把围裙穿上

Okay.|穿就穿

I don't see you asking other paying customers to put on aprons.|你怎么不叫其他客人穿围裙

- Joey, do you work here? - No.|乔伊，你在这里打工吗？ 没有

- Waiter. - Yeah!|服务生 什么事?

What's going on? Why didn't you tell us you work here?|乔伊，怎么回事? 你为什么不告诉我们?

It's kind of embarrassing.  I mean, I was an actor, now I'm a waiter.|这件事蛮尴尬的。我之前是演员，现在是服务生

It's supposed to go the other direction.|一般应该反过来才对

So's your apron. You're wearing it like a cape.|你的围裙也反穿成披风了

I mean, the job's easy and the money's good, you know?|这份工作很简单，薪水很高

I guess if I'm hanging out here, I might as well get paid for it.|反正我都在这混，干脆赚个钱

I just feel kind of weird serving you guys, you know?|只是要招呼你们感觉很怪

It'll be great.|会好起来的。

Come on, I did it and it was fine.|乔伊，我也做过，还好啊

Why would it be weird?|对啊，怎么会怪?

Hey, Joey? Can I get some coffee?|乔伊，帮我端个咖啡

It doesn't seem that weird.|确实没那么怪

I asked before. You still haven't gotten it.|我说真的，我点的咖啡还没来

See, now it's weird again.|现在又变怪了

You're gonna make a lot of money. Here's your first tip.|你来这里工作是好事你会赚大钱，给你一个忠告

Don't eat yellow snow.|不要学坏

2:15, coffeehouse.|2点15分，咖啡馆

This is great. Finally, someone I can pass my wisdom to.|太好了总算有人能传承我的智慧

Let me tell you some things I learned working here.|告诉你几件我在这里学到的事

First, the customer is always right.|首先，顾客永远是对的

A smile goes a long way.|微笑能让你无往不利

And if anyone is ever rude to you, sneeze muffin.|有人对你不客气 就朝松饼打喷嚏

Thanks, Rach.|谢了

Hey, look, you guys are just terrific, you know?|你们对我真好

How about clearing out so I can get some new customers?|要不要清场让别人进来了?

It's all about turnover.|事关营业额

Seriously, can I get my coffee?|乔伊，我想喝咖啡了

I'm sorry. I'll get it right now.|抱歉，马上来

And since you waited, I'll toss in a free muffin.|我送你一块松饼做补偿

Phoebe, we'd like to talk to you.|菲比，我们想跟你谈谈

Okay.|好

So, maybe I am a little high maintenance.|或许我是有点难搞

And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover.|或许瑞秋是有点好欺负

But you know what you are?|但你知道你是什么吗?

We are sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.|很抱歉这么说 但是你，菲比，是个怪人

That's true, I am flaky.|没错，我是很怪

So, what, you're just okay with being flaky?|所以你怪也无所谓?

Yeah, totally.|完全无所谓

Then I'm okay with being high maintenance.|那我难搞也无所谓

Yeah. And I am okay with being a pushover.|我好欺负也无所谓

That's great. Good for you guys.|太好了，无所谓就好

- I am not high maintenance!  - I am not a pushover!|我才不难搞 我才没有好欺负

- Who said you were? - You did!|谁说你们是了 你啊

I'm flaky. I'll say anything.|我是怪人，专门乱说话

Hey, Gunther.|甘瑟

Can you cover for me? I got an audition.|帮我挡一下，我接到试镜通知

No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed.|不行，我要去染头发

I like your natural color.|是吗? 我喜欢你的自然色

It's a great part. I'm the lead guy's best friend.|拜托啦，这是个好角色。我演男主角的死党

I wait for him and save his seat. Listen.|在酒吧帮他占位子，你听

"I'm sorry, that seat's saved."|抱歉，这个位子有人

- That's the whole part?  - Maybe he's not his best friend.|就这样? 或许不是他的死党

I'll see you.|1小时后见

Oh, man.|天啊

I could totally get that part. "I'm sorry, this seat is taken."|我绝对能拿到那个角色 抱歉，这个位子有人

- Excuse me. - No, I didn't mean you.|抱歉不，我不是说你

But you believed me?|但你以为是真的吧?

I believed you were saving this seat for someone.|我以为你在帮别人占位

So you'd hire me, right?|所以你会用我咯?

For what?|用你干嘛?

Exactly! All right, everybody listen up!|就是说嘛…各位请注意

The coffeehouse will be closed for about an hour.|本店要暂停营业1小时

What?|什么?

It's for the kids.|好帮助孩子们

Yeah, to keep the kids off drugs.|远离毒品

It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy.|这是本期花花公子的重要报导

I'm sure you all read about it.|各位一定都看过

Hey! Don't you wanna keep guns away from kids?|你不想让孩子们远离枪枝吗?

- You said, "drugs."  - It's a vicious cycle. Get out!|你刚才说毒品这是恶性循环，滚啦

Go!|快点

- It's my joke. - It's my joke.|那是我的笑话 是我的

It's my joke.|是我的

I don't think we're gonna settle this.|我们再吵也吵不出结果

Let's have Monica decide.|让莫妮卡决定吧！ 好

- Hey, Mon! - Get out here!|小妹 亲爱的，出来一下

- Monica? - Okay.|莫妮卡

You have to decide whose joke this is.|你来决定这个笑话是谁的

Why do I have to?|为什么要我决定?

You're the only one that can be fair.|因为你才能客观公正

I can't be. You're my boyfriend.|我不能，你是我的男朋友

But I'm your brother. We're family.|但我是你哥哥，我们是家人

That's the most important thing in the world.|世上最重要的就是亲情

Don't try to sway her.|不要想左右她

I'm your only chance to have a baby.|只有我能让你生小孩

- Okay, let's go. - All right.|我们开始吧 - 好吧

We'll each tell you how we came up with the joke...|我们会说出这个笑话的由来

...then you decide which one of us is telling the truth. Me.|你再决定谁说的是实话…是我

Chandler, you go first.|钱德，你先

I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.|好，我是2个月前 跟史提夫吃饭时想到的

- Did I meet him at Christmas? - Can I finish?|就是圣诞节那家伙吗? 让我说完好吗?

You want me to pick you?|你要我选你吗?

See, I would never snap at you like that.|我绝对不会那样凶你

Two babies.|二个孩子

- Continue. - Okay.|请继续

Steve said he had to go to the doctor.  And his doctor's name is Dr. Mompey.|史提夫说他去看医生 他的医生姓侯奇

I said, "Dr. Monkey?"  And that is how the whole Dr. Monkey thing came up.|我说“猴子医生?” 所以才会有猴子医生这个笑话

Are you kidding?|你开什么玩笑

Okay, look, I study evolution.|我是念进化论的

Remember? Evolution.|记得吧? 进化论

Monkey into man.|猴子进化成人?

Plus, I'm a doctor. And...|况且我是博士

...I had a monkey.|我还养过猴子

I'm Dr. Monkey!|我是猴子博士

I'm not arguing with that.|这点我不跟你争

I've heard enough for my decision.|好，可以了，我决定好了

- Okay, so what...? - Do tell.|好的。这样。说吧。

You are both idiots.|你们两个都是白痴

It's not funny. And it's offensive to women.|那个笑话不但不好笑 还冒犯了女性

And doctors. And monkeys.|还有医生，还有猴子

You shouldn't argue over who gets credit.|你们不该争笑话是谁的

You should argue over who gets blamed for inflicting this joke on the world.|应该争是推让这世界受这种罪

Now, let it go.|别再争了

The joke sucks.|那个笑话烂透了

- It's your joke. - It is not.|那是你的笑话 才不是

[英学网] - 电影天堂-双语电影网 在线双语字幕-英语学习视频 - www.engxue.com

- Oh, my God, Chandler, there you are.  - Hi.|钱德，你在这里

Hey, it's Phoebe and Rachel.|是菲比和瑞秋

Why don't you tell them...|你要不要告诉她们

...what you told me about me not being high maintenance.|你刚才说我并不难搞?

Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady.|莫妮卡是个自信沉着的女性

Being with her has been like being on a vacation.|跟她在一起就像在度假

And what may be perceived as high maintenance...|至于所谓的难搞

...is merely attention to detail...|只是注重小细节

...and...|和…

...generosity of spirit.|心灵的慷慨

Wow. You know what?  That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard.|这真是我所听过最棒的假话

Really? I've heard better.|真的? 我听过更棒的

Wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them.|等等，那是他自己说的 你告诉她们

I'm out of words. Should I say it again?|我已经词穷了 可以重复就好吗

Look, I am not high maintenance!|我一点也不难搞

I am not. Chandler!|我不是，钱德

You're a little high maintenance.|你是有点难搞

You are on my list!|你上黑名单了

Look, I'm sorry, but you're not...|对不起，但是你并不

You're not easygoing, but you're passionate.|你并不好相处但你很热情

And that's good.|这样很好

And when you get upset about little things, I think I'm pretty good...|当你为小事不高兴时我觉得

...at making you feel better.|我蛮能安抚你的

That's good too. They say you're high maintenance...|那样也很好。所以她们说你难搞也行

...but it's okay, because I like...|因为我喜欢…

...maintaining you.|搞定你

I didn't tell him that.|我没叫他说这些

- You're off my list. - I'm off the list.|你从黑名单除名了 我除名了

Phoebe?|菲比

It's okay that you don't want me to be your girlfriend.|你不找我当女朋友也没关系

I have the best boyfriend.|因为我有最棒的男朋友

You know, suddenly I find you very attractive.|我突然觉得你好迷人

How'd the audition go?|兄弟，试镜结果如何?

Oh, not good. No.|不好

I didn't get the part. And I lost my job here, so...|我没拿到那个角色 这里的工作也没了，所以

Wow, that is a bad audition.|好惨烈的试镜

Well, how did you lose your job here?|这里的工作为什么没了?

I had the audition...|我要去试镜

...but Gunther said I had to stay so he could get his hair dyed.|但甘瑟叫我顾店 他好去染头发

So I went anyway, and he fired me.|但我还是去了，他就炒我姚鱼

He left work to do a personal errand...|他扔下工作去办私事

...and left you in charge when you've been here two days?|叫才来2天的你顾店?

That's not right.|这样不对吧

What are you gonna do?|但是能怎么办?

You can't let him get away with that.|乔伊，你不能就这么算了

I won't let him get away with that.  I'm gonna say...|我绝不放过他，我要去教训他

I shouldn't say anything. No, I should say something!|不，我不该多事。不，我要去教训他

Gunther? I want you to give Joey his job back.|甘瑟，让乔伊继续在这里打工

- It's not fair that you have to fire...  - Okay.|你这样解雇他一点也不…好

- What? - He can have his job back.|什么? 他可以继续打工

That's right, he can have his job back.|没错，他可以继续打工

Glad we got that all straightened out.|讲通了就好

There you go, Joey.|好了

- Got your job back. - That's great. Thanks.|你可以继续打工了。太好了，谢谢你

Pretty nice, huh? Now who's a pushover?|不赖吧? 谁好欺负了?

- Rach, you're in my seat. - I'm sorry.|你坐到我的位子了 抱歉

I never heard who you'd pick to be your girlfriend.|你们都没说会找谁当女朋友

- I'd pick you, Phoebe.  - Yeah, definitely you, Pheebs.|我选你 没错，绝对是你

Yeah, I kind of thought.|我也这么觉得

- Never. - It would totally be you.|- 决不 - 绝对是你

If you had to pick one of the other two to go out with...|如果要找另外两个人当男朋友

...who would you pick?|你们会找谁?

- No way. - I'm not answering.|少来。我拒绝回答

Joey.|乔伊

No way, I'm not answering that.|少来，我拒绝回答